The REAL Reason Jaden Smith Brought His Locs to the Met Gala —a phrase that is inherently discordant, as The Bachelor-verse has historically boxed out queer people—I’m feeling thorny about this. I don’t find it funny or cute or endearing when women “joke” about another woman being their “wife,” or their “girlfriend,” or—to borrow a harrowing phrase from my traumatic adolescence—their “lesbian lover.” Like, wouldn’t it behilarious I didn’t plan to become a political organizer, but I didn’t enter political activism by accident, either. My father died when I was just six months old, and at 14 I became an orphan after both my mother and grandmother passed away of cancer. I had no support system and was at the mercy of our government as an orphan in its systems, which I soon came to realize hurt my chances of an education and a future. After getting into a four-year college, I applied for student loans and learned that the government labeled me an “independent,” which rendered me ineligible for financial support from banks or loan companies. Just one week before I planned to move into my freshman dorm, I found out I was $5,000 short for tuition and lost my deposit. No one, especially an orphan, should have to give up their dreams because they can’t afford an education. are the same person? There are others out there like you. (Yes, really.) But we're going to have to ask you to sit down, dear reader, because this conspiracy theory might be the most bonkers oneof. all. time.